A Lagos housewife decided to ditch her husband because the hubby lacks sexual action, a Lagos newspaper has reported.
The woman was frustrated she had to tell an open court session how she had been deprived of her internal joy for two years because the husband lacks the necessary apparatus to dig deeper into her adventure thereby making her romance life uneventful.
“Since I married my husband Sunday Olabiyi, two years ago, he has never satisfied me sexually.” This was her confession as she stood steel in court narrating how the size of her husband’s genital stood between her and true love for her husband of two years.
The sex-starved housewife, Olubunmi Ajayi, continuously blamed her matrimonial woes on the small size of her husband’s manhood.
Olubunmi, 36, who approached the Alakuko Customary Court, Lagos, seeking the dissolution of the union, added that her husband’s penchant for running after young girls in his fantasies, despite the fact that she has been managing to cope with his inadequacies and other problems with maturity, further annoyed her.
She confessed that the major problem she had with her husband was his nonchalant attitude to her welfare and his inability to satisfy her sexually.
She said that she had tried other options, especially local medicines, to improve her husband’s sexual performance, all to no avail.
“I have tried my best for this man over the years. I am convinced that he is not ready for me as his wife. That is why he is always looking outside, chasing after little girls,” she told the court.
Asked if it was not her inadequacies that made her husband to start looking elsewhere, she said she had always tried to do her best at home.
“It is not my inadequacies that made him look elsewhere. In fact, I don’t have any, as far as I am concerned. I cook good food for him, take good care of him and what did I get in return? Nothing! I tried all I could to make him a real man in bed but all was futile.
“I equally went as far as going the traditional way, making concoctions but it was the same old story. What else am I waiting for in the marriage but to opt out gracefully,” she told the court.
Revealing how they met, she said that she met her husband through one of her friends who happens to be her neighbour, adding that the neighbour is also from her husband’s home town in Ikenne, Ogun State.
Bunmi said what can save the union from collapse is for her husband to have enough time for her and perform well in bed. She added that she approached the court because she was not ready to commit adultery.
She urged the court to dissolve the marriage and order her husband to pay for her resettlement.
The respondent, Mr. Sunday Olabiyi, told the court that it was only his wife who can tell the court how best one can perform wonders in bed.
According to him, he never denied his wife sex whenever she wanted it and he has always taken good care of her.
He accused the petitioner of having a hidden agenda and made up her mind to abandon him for another man.
The matter was adjourned by the court president for further hearing.
The Sun relationship advise guide says:
JUST about every man would like his penis to be that extra inch or so bigger.
Men have always tended to eye each other up nervously when they get the opportunity but the anxieties have probably got worse now that Internet pornography and sex videos are so much more widely available.
The men in those are specially selected just because they are exceptionally large, and so blokes get the feeling that is the norm when actually it is abnormal.
That said, though, a very few men do have cause for concern because they never developed properly.
Statistics for penis size vary but the latest reliable research is that the greater proportion of penises are usually around 5 cm/2 inches long when soft and range from 11.5 cm/4.6 inches to 15cm/nearly 6 inches when erect, with the average being 13 cm/5.2 inches – about the size of a large tube of toothpaste, as someone pointed out.
You shouldn’t feel too bad if you notice that other men seem much larger than you when you see them in the showers or changing rooms.
For one thing, willies do tend to average out in size when it matters – that is erect – and you should bear in mind that, when you see other men’s tackle, you’re seeing them from a different angle – you’re looking across at theirs and down at your own, which has a foreshortening effect.
And don’t forget that your penis is very clever, and shrinks upwards and presses itself close up against the body for warmth and safety when you’re anxious or cold – as in that changing room.
You will probably get a more cheering view of your equipment if you try looking at yourself, when you’re warm and relaxed at home, in a full-length mirror, which is how others see you.
Even if you do still worry you’re on the small side, it really won’t spoil your love life – or your partner’s satisfaction.
Women in a loving relationship aren’t as conscious of penis size as men.
In fact, too large a penis causes women far more serious concerns than a small one.
When I do hear from men who say women have laughed at the size of their penis, in almost every case it is because they were having casual sex with women who barely knew them, and certainly weren’t in love with them.
Casual sex is all about judging each other by physique and performance, not intensity of feelings – nor even quality of sex.
What really makes a good lover isn’t size below the belt but how sensitive and sensuous, informed and imaginative you are.
Your hands, mouth and whole body matter as much if not more than your penis, and women get the most exciting sensations, not through the vagina itself but through the clitoris, which you stimulate with your hands, mouth or groin, not your penis.
If your partner complains of lack of sensation, it may well be that she has a problem, nothing to do with your anatomy.
In which case, suggest she write to me and I’ll help her sort it out.
If it is your loving that is at fault, then it’s not that you need to grow an extra inch but that you need to develop more skills and sensitivity as a lover.
I can send you free leaflets on How to Have Great Sex and Help your Partner to Orgasm, which will help you, but the following simple tips can make a big difference:
? Choose deep-penetration positions or those where the vagina is “closed off” a bit. Go for entering from behind, or her on top but leaning backwards – anything which alters the slant of the vagina will make you feel larger to her and increase sensation. In the missionary position, put a pillow under her bottom and suggest she keep her thighs pressed close together with your legs outside hers.
? Thrust hard and deep – though check with her before and after to make sure she’s enjoying the sensation.
? If you tend to climax quickly, masturbate often. All penises have roughly the same number of nerve endings in the head. If yours is small, this means it’s going to be more sensitive. The more you masturbate the less sensitive you’ll become, and so less liable to suffer from premature ejaculation, especially if you practice controlling your climax while you’re doing it – explained in more detail in my leaflet on Self-help for Premature Ejaculation.
? Go for variety. If you’ve made her orgasm through oral sex, masturbation and given her a wonderful sensual massage, you take the main focus off intercourse, which eases the pressure for both of you. Most women find it difficult to reach orgasm through intercourse alone, so she’ll be happy with the change in emphasis.
If you’re still worried, you may wonder about pills, creams and gadgets which are advertised to boost penis size.
Basically, none of them work in any significant and permanent way.
At best you can waste a lot of time and money. At worst, you could even damage yourself.
The vast majority of men are best advised to accept themselves as they are.
Your penis is just one, very human, part of you. Learn to love it.
If you can’t accept that, your problems are far more likely to be down to lack of confidence and self-esteem in general than that your penis is too small.
But if you’re still anxious, don’t suffer in silence. See your GP for a check-up.
If you’re in your teens it could be you still have some developing to do. If you’re not confident the doctor is taking your worries seriously, ask for a referral or go along to your nearest genito-urinary clinic where you can see a specialist.
They can advise you if you are one of the tiny minority who really are extra-small (micro-penis) and for whom treatment might be advisable.
This surgery might be available on the NHS, or will cost a few thousand pounds privately.
There are two main techniques. One involves taking surplus fat from the body and inserting it under the skin of the penis.
This has an initial effect but the fat can be reabsorbed, leaving little lasting improvement, or it can harden leaving a lumpy effect.
The other method is cutting the ligament from which the penis is suspended.
This can leave hair growing on the first inch or so of the penis, and also make the angle of erection flatter.
I’m afraid that, like all surgery, it carries very real risks of complications.
Men who’ve had surgery to enlarge their penis have written to me to warn other men off it.
If, when you see your GP, you are reassured that there is nothing wrong physically, then it may be you are focussing all sorts of other worries on to this very symbolic part of your body.
Talking it all over with a counsellor could help