Intimacy Ignited: Pros And Cons Of Dating A Divorcee

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divorceeAt every point in time, everybody needs somebody. But having experienced a former relationship and falling victim of a divorce, is it so easy to get a relationship along? Here’s looking at what one needs to be aware of while being in a relationship with someone who has experienced broken marriage(s).

It’s not easy to start afresh after a broken marriage, especially because of the emotional baggage you may carry into a new relationship. The question is, “How much of your baggage can a partner deal with?”

The fact that you’re smitten by a man/woman who had once tied the knot — and later untied it — can be extremely unnerving. No matter why a marriage failed, the society, unfortunately, is not very kind to ‘divorcees’. They are looked down upon, especially when stepping into the dating arena again. So, if you’re dating a divorcee, here are a few pointers to keep in mind.

The pros:
Will not be frivolous: Dating may be a serious deal for a divorcee. He/she will not want to jump into a relationship just for the sake of it (unless he/she’s a player and that’s the reason for the divorce).

Will be realistic
: We all know that compromises are inevitable in a marriage. And if he/she has already been with someone, chances are they will not expect the relationship to be unrealistically fancy.

Commitment
: No matter why their previous relationship didn’t work, you know for sure that the person is not commitment-phobic. But this could be a problem, too (discussed later).

Past experience: A relationship, good or bad, teaches way too many lessons in life and helps nurture future relationships. Since your potential partner is experienced, chances are he/she will be mature enough to deal with the current relationship, too.

The cons
Commitment phobia: Here’s another way to look at what was discussed above. The bitterness of the past may trigger a fear of commitment in him/her. Chances are, it may take quite a while and too much convincing to get them to commit again.

Past Memories: Marriage is an important aspect of life and no matter how much you deny it, you know your partner will still have strings of their past attached.

Responsibility: Remember, a divorcee will have a lot to deal with post divorce. So, be sure you are willing to share responsibilities and be supportive at every step.

Emotionally unpredictable: Divorces are traumatic and your potential partner may have been through a great deal of emotional stress. It may haunt them from time to time, which you will have to take care of. If you’re unable to help them, maybe you’re not ready for the relationship.

 

*Reasons why you should avoid dating your ex’s friends

It’s awkward since you will be part of the same social circle. It can get difficult for all of you as you are bound to run into each other at some point or the other.
You could cause fights
Dating your ex’s friend will put a strain on their relationship as both will be forced to take sides and may end up arguing about you. It will lead to unnecessary stress and tension between the two.

It’s disrespectful
No matter how things ended, hooking up with an ex’s friend is not the way to go. It shows that you don’t care or respect your ex’s feelings and will do anything to hurt them.
You become fair game for conversation
If your ex is not the one to watch what he says, in all likelihood, he may have shared a lot with his mates. The good and the bad, giving them a lot of information that they can chew on during their guy talks. While you may not be privy to it, your guy will be and if things don’t work out between the two of you, you will have another person talking about you. While for some the situation may have worked out, not everyone is as lucky. So, think twice before you decide to date your ex’s friends. It comes with its set of pitfalls that could result in a whole new level of heartbreak for you all over again.

Source: TNN