Men: 20 Types Of Vaginas You’ll Meet In Your Lifetime And How To Handle Them-Directly in response to “10 Types and Shapes of Penises and How they Can Satisfy You”, readers were eager to know if women also have types and shapes and so we went scooping and asking men who have been there and done that and the response we got were interesting. We were able to gather 20 types of vagina and how to handle them.
And so the men out there who are yet to set out on this adventure, it’s good to know the types of vaginas you may come across on your adventurous journey and so without much ado, here are 20 types of vaginas you will come across and how to handle them.
1. THE LOOSE VAGINA
This vagina is simply put… loose. A loose vagina feels like it’s slid 12 babies out of it in the last couple of years. Being in a woman should feel like a jacuzzi bath for your cock, but instead, it feels like driving your car through a carwash, when those flappy curtains soap up your sedan. It’s not doing much, barely putting any pressure on your penis, and you can just keep going… and going… and going… and going. Your girl probably has some idea that her vagina is really loose, so maybe spare her self esteem and don’t mention it to her. Just… do the best you can, and maybe get out of there. Literally.
2. THE TOO-TIGHT VIRGIN VAGINA
This is the opposite of #1. Some girls are crazy tight and it’s just impossible to last. I mean, this vagina is made by nature to squeeze man juice out of you, and with every stroke, you feel like your kids’ faces are becoming more and more defined before your eyes. You switch up positions, and start to wonder how much longer you can last, as this vagina massages every inch of your dick into sweet, sweet ecstasy of release.
3. THE DECEPTIVE TINY VAGINA
Maybe you’re having sex with a small girl – you know, a skinny 5-foot bubble of happiness, and off come the underwear, and you’re wondering how your average-sized sausage is ever going to fit in there. But then you go down on her, and she starts getting wet. And then wetter. And then, by some miracle magic trick, inch by inch, you’re fully inside her. Sometimes, deceptively tiny vaginas can accommodate you, but are really snug, making them #2s, but sometimes they’re also pretty loose, making you question laws of physics. How can something so tiny feel so… loose? There’s no way to tell how a Deceptively Tiny Vagina will feel until you’re in it.
4. THE FAT-LIP VAGINA
These can actually be fun; watching those meat curtains wrap around your hard man-member is both titillating and mesmerizing. Often, this kind of vagina is only visually unique, but makes little difference during the actual sex.
Simply put, you’ve got plumper lips than the rest. They are so pert that they practically scream for attention. And, they’re just so darn kissable.
Luckily, guys agree. Fat lips are a crowd pleaser amongst the male population. Sources tell us that they are the softest of the bunch, very inviting and easier to find for penetration. Not to mention, it makes the men excited for some lip on lip action if you know what I mean.
5. THE “MOMONE” VAGINA
I think there’s a thing going around where some girls don’t wash their vaginas, or they don’t wash them all the way, or I don’t even know. There is no excuse for a vagina that makes you go Eew!!. NONE.
How to handle it? No need going in there anyway and unless you want to smell like fish all the days of your life.
6. THE TOO-DRY VAGINA
Although most vaginas in the world lubricate themselves just fine, you’ll sometimes come across one that just dries up on you. Sometimes it’s your fault – what are you doing down there? But, sometimes that’s just how it naturally is. Too-Dry Vaginas can be a lot of work, because you have to keep reapplying lube, and it’s harder to concentrate and get into the right mindset for orgasm. Every girl feels a little different about her vagina, but I always feel weird when dealing with one that’s too dry, like I’m not really sure what to do with it. Should I spit on it? Do I just wait for it to… lubricate? The ball is in your court.
7. THE PERFECT VAGINA
This is rare. Really rare, and it’s hands-down the most common kind of vagina. You see it at first, and you think to yourself – well, this is just another whatever vagina, but then you slide yourself in, and OH MY GOD, it’s just the right texture and tightness! Just goes to show you – don’t judge the girl by her outer labia. What matters is how it all feels when the guy feels when sensually thrusting inside you, and how you can adjust for your shortcomings.
8. THE BONE HEAD VAGINA
Chances are if you’re on the petite or skinny end of the spectrum, you may have one of these. The Bone Head is more narrow and bonier than most vaginas. The exciting part about it is that it allows for a tighter fit that ensures a sensational sexual experience.
The snug fit makes for great sex and stimulation. Although the Bone Head often times leads to great sex, it can be a little uncomfortable when a sensitive body apart is conjoined with a boney one.
9. THE RAZOR BUMP VAGINA
You are so into making sure everything is clean shaven, prim and proper, and the sexiest of the pack, but sometimes you run into a few mishaps. This vagina looks like, she’s still experimenting with the best Gillette model and the new razor with five blades caused a surprising amount of irritation.
Guys definitely notice when a woman puts a great deal of work into keeping her vagina perfectly tamed. Ingrown hairs are not uncommon but fortunately, there are ways to avoid them.
Guys!! Be careful when handling this one, because you might end up with holes in your abdomen or even if not, you will be scratching all day long like a dog who just got infected with fleas. There’s no way you can explain that to anyone to understand.
10. THE ACCESSORY VAGINA
Your vagina loves to accessorize with lots of extra loose and flabby skin in the surrounding area.
The common misconception is that this type of vagina seems like its old, run down, tired or just got off a major diet. Fortunately, men really don’t mind the extra skin so don’t be afraid to embrace it.
11. THE JUNGLE FEVER VAGINA
You’ve got a thing for comfort and relaxation and your vagina shows it. Shaving down there really isn’t a priority to you.
For the most part, guys don’t normally have an issue with an unshaven vagina so don’t feel obligated to start a new shaving regimen. Just keep in mind that finding pleasure island can get difficult while hiking through the jungle.
Guys! You need to be extra careful with this one, because you might end up getting lost in the jungle. You may be banging the forest thinking you’re in the hole. As they say, “beating around the bush”.
12. THE PEEPING TOM VAGINA
You definitely know how to work the room, but you’re not exactly the life of the party. You’ve got that clitoris that is out just enough to give the perfect tease.
A perky clit makes for the perfect plaything for the male species. Plus, they love the bigger orgasms girls seem to get with these. It makes them feel like they did their job just right. So just master how to handle this “holy molly” and you’ll just be fine.
When they built this vagina it was like a dream to drive on the freshly paved asphalt, but overdevelopment of the surrounding areas has led to intolerable sprawl.
The easiest way to handle it is just drive through…lol!!!
14. THE TERMINATOR VAGINA
The clitoris has a formidable exoskeleton that will swallow up your dick if you don’t disable the chip first. If you’re not brave enough, you might think you just met your “co-equal”.
You don’t need to battle with the majora and minora to get to the clit, it will be standing at the door even before the door opens. It’s always ready for action and like the Fantis will say, “I don’t fear huuuu!!!” is what it will be trying to tell you.
15. DEPARTMENT STORE VAGINA
It looked great when you tried it on in the fitting room, but at home it looks a little off. Maybe it’s one size too small?
This vagina appears all puffed up but when you get it home, it will surprise you. It fits once and makes a U-turn.
16. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VAGINA
The vagina got out of line so the man had to slap it around, leading to a swollen, tender appearance. Simply put, it appears as if it has been on the road many times, with all the majora and minora popping out.
One look and you might think all the meat in there is about to fall out.
How to handle it? Simple!!! Just gather courage and run through…
17. LOOSE NECKLINE VAGINA
Ever washed the neckline of your T-Shirt for so long the neckline starts becoming crooked and stretching out of proportion? That is a perfect description for this type of vagina. The majora and the minora seems to have gone through a wear and tear situation, looking wriggly and wobbly.
These are the kinds you can easily come across at the red light district or simple…Circle.
Want to still handle it? Goodluck and God be with you.
18. ROSE FLOWER VAGINA
Must I still describe this type of Vagina? Anyway, just get yourself a rose flower and you will get a vivid description of this type of vagina.
There are only two lips on the vagina, the majora and the minora, but this is the only vagina that appears to have multiples of them. I sometimes refer to it as the vagina with petals.
Gentlemen, don’t be scared when you meet one, they are very embracing and comfortable, giving you maximum satisfaction. Just like a rose flower, handle them with care before the petals starts falling off, who knows, anything can happen.
19. THE “BAMBAALA” VAGINA
Don’t start freaking out yet, but take note this is the type of vagina that seems like a swimming pool, it’s Biiiiiigggggg!!! Just like Music Music.
You don’t need to even spread them cheeks to get in, the way is already opened, all you need to do is stick it in. The entrance seems to be always opened. You can peep through and see all the way to the womb. It’s the kind of vagina you see and it’s like it shouted, “Ooohhh!!!” and it got stuck. If you want to understand me, just stand in front of a mirror and shout, “Ooooohhhh!!!” and hold your mouth right there…that’s it.
It’s common among porn stars but not far from ‘chrife’ girls too.
How to handle it? You can’t, just try your best to survive…halleluyah!!!
20. THE PLATFORM VAGINA
This type of vagina is the most interesting vagina you will ever come across, because of how it appears but after being there, you will always go for more.
One look at it can make your bones shake with fear, but later you will love it. When she stands upright, the outer look is just like a huge platform, she can hit it and it will wobble like a jelly. You can suspend on it when you’re on top but you penetrate, you find out she has one of the smallest entrance you can ever imagine. It’s actually an obese vagina from the outside and anorexic from the inside. There’s a lot of meat around it all the way from the abdomen to the stomach.
How to handle it? Just enjoy it and be careful you don’t ‘cum’ anytime soon.