Nature has a way of working on us as its own creation. As we all know, there are areas that we excel as men and women. A most recent survey claims that men lie more than women, thus affirming what we always knew but didn’t have a survey to back up. But in the same manner. women are more cunny when it comes to playin the mind game. Of course, men overdo the game of gender more and as the cat and mouse game of superiority plays in our heart everyday, we bring you most lies that Adams tell to impress. Many of them positive to win hearts and some just mere doing the business as usual.
While lies come in all sizes and shades, here are the more common fibs that the male of the species is more inclined to dish out— sometimes to get out of a fix, oftentimes to keep his partner happy, and at other times because it’s ever so convenient and hassle-free! Do, please, add your own to this list, and let’s have fun making this list as long as his nose is likely to grow if and when caught!
1. “I wasn’t checking her out.’ They will deny till they turn blue in the face that they were checking out another woman while you were very much in the vicinity. They’ll protest how until you accused them, they didn’t even register the presence of the sexy, curvaceous woman in the mall, or airport, or wherever it is such women frequent.
2. “I have not had a smoke/I have drastically cut down on cigarettes.’ When you get on their case and nag them about smoking, or have caught them almost red and nicotine-handed, they insist the smoke you smell from their hair, clothes, breath, or surroundings are from some far away source; it’s certainly not them.
3. ‘It’s only you I fantasize about.’ When fantasizing about someone in their dreamy moments, or when they seek self-pleasure, it’s always with you in his mind, or so they’ll have you believe. How can, they say, you even think they could have anyone else on their mind. Who are they kidding? Let’s face it. Partners are their reality; not fantasy.
4. ‘I was way too qualified for that organisation, anyway.’ The pink slip he got had nothing to do with his position being made redundant. He was just way too good for them!
5. ‘With the GPS, I own the road.’ Fact is even with these technology playthings, many men are perfectly lost. Except that his male pride will never let him admit that.
6. ‘I can’t stay without you more than a day.’ What lies! The fact is no sooner you are gone than the party begins, or at least the planning for one does.
7. ‘I wasn’t sleeping. I was thinking.’ They don’t like being caught napping while at work or watching a movie, so you have to know it’s just their way of putting on their thinking caps.
8. ‘I did not forget.’ If something slips from their mind like sending that courier or asking the plumber to inspect that leaking tap, it’s only because something more important came up, and there were other pressing matters that had to be attended to. Forgetfulness and them? Naah!
9. ‘We don’t think about that all the time.’ This one is a half-lie. What they don’t tell you is that they are thinking about it most of the time. In between work happens.
10. ‘I haven’t lost hair; I have gained face!’ How can his male ego deal with hair loss? It’s a blow to his vanity. So anything, really, to cling on to his youth and erstwhile crowning glory.
A bit of fibs adds to the spice when looking for her favor and love. Not really meant to hurt, but only a way to say:” Oh I care for you and want you at all cost… give me a chance!”
Use the gym like you own it
Irrespective of what your motive behind heading out to a gym is — burning calories, or distressing after a mean day at work — make sure you realise, you aren’t the only one there to realise a goal. It’s a community space, and sharing has rules. So, if you are going to do curls in the squat rack, leave your sweat dripping on the treadmill handlebar and not bother replacing the free weights where they belong, you are being a boor.
Discuss the weak Dollar at the urinal
Location, location, location. Some places are just not meant for discussion, even small talk. The loo is one of them. As a rule, spend as little time in the urinal as possible, aim right (which means you don’t splatter your neighbour’s shoes), do not answer your cellphone while in there, and don’t poke your head over the partition to ask your colleague how his weekend in Florida or London went.
Crack a colourless joke
Sexist and homophobic humour is a great way to bond with the boys? Wrong. It’s time you take a re-look at what you find funny, and why putting down a certain group of people fills your heart with joy. If you must put someone down to eek a chuckle out of friends and earn a popular point, put yourself down. Guys love others who can laugh at themselves.
See the humour where there isn’t any
Men will be men, and so, pulling another’s leg comes with the territory. It can be anything from making a dig about a recently developed beer belly to the first signs of male pattern baldness. There is however, only a hair strand worth of difference between friendly joking and hurting a man’s selfrespect. If he is going through a break-up or has just lost his job, you must back off. There’s a time to pull a fast one, and a time to zip it. If you know the difference, you‘ll make a good friend.
Gloat after cheating
If you’ve two-timed a committed partner, you should be figuring how you are going to try and clarify the air with honesty soon. If to top it, you share the nitty gritties of how good it was with another woman with your friends, you might be shoving them into an awkward corner.
Claim to know everything
So, you read TIME cover to cover, follow every national debate on prime time TV, and always have an opinion to share. But it’s crucial that you choose your area of expertise. Mr Know-It-Alls are boring, not to mention end up making fools of themselves.
Flirt with another’s girlfriend
Appreciating the good things is natural, and so complimenting an attractive woman with grace is fine, as long as you don’t push it up a notch and flirt with her in front of her boyfriend. Not only will it leave the girl red-faced, it will spur her man into contemplating whether he should sock you in public. Why set the stage for a brawl. Be a gentleman.
Drop the boys for a girl
This is a species; he’s the sort who’ll depend on you when he’s single and hang on to every word of advice, but vanish the minute he lands a girl. While the jelly-kneed feeling of new love hasn’t spared anyone, remember that your guy friends matter. They are the ones to cushion you when you have a hard relationship fall or miss the promotion you were eyeing. Balance is key. A week has seven days, and there’s time for everyone.
Be an alpha male around chicks
Why does the arrival of a woman onto the scene (imagine you are with your guy gang from work at a pub for a few afterwork beers, and a pretty woman walks in) have to change your stripes? There is little reason to stop being the average bloke you are, discussing Dhoni’s controversial rotation policy with the boys, and do the flip — flash your wallet and name-drop the city’s famous. It’s not inspiring. It’s embarrassing.